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(Illustration:
Ink and Watercolor,
by Roman Payne,
Copyright 2005) |
 hen
you think that riding
sheepback through a
sunny valley, alongside
a brook, with mountains
towering on either side,
is one of the most pleasurable
sensations of all; and
that everyone in your
party has a canteen
full of fresh clear
mountain water, from
which to drink, to be
nourished and happy
in the springtime sun,
- and that all of the
sheep – including
those your friends are
riding upon, as well
as the lamb you are
saddled into –
are happy to be trotting
alongside such a peaceful
mountain brook, and
with this knowledge
that your friends are
happy to be riding sheepback
with you especially,
and that all of the
sheep are happy and
still have much energy,
as it is early in the
day and the weather
is good, and they too
have had much to drink
from the clear mountain
brook; and you can hear
your friends laughing
up ahead – and
your friends riding
behind you are smiling
and cheery too…
for there are many hours
left to enjoy the springtime
sun… because the
valley goes on for a
long time yet, and the
mountains continue to
tower on either side
for still quite a ways,
and the sun will not
go behind them, nor
behind any clouds for
a long while yet to
come, and you have no
place to go except where
you are going, and your
friends have no place
that they have to be,
and the sheep too aren’t
in a hurry to get back,
- and with the vernal
flowers scenting the
air and the picnic lunch
in your knapsack, with
the pure cool drinking
water, and the happy
blue azure of the sky
and the sunny, green
grass underneath, you’d
think…
…you’d
think that you too would
be happy and smiling
and cheery – for
there could be no more
pleasurable of a sensation
than you are feeling
right now – and
there is much more of
this ahead.
But
instead, you are not
enjoying any of this;
because you know that
A. has no intention
of inviting you to her
house this Saturday
for her birthday get-together,
- and because you’ve
torn your trousers and
realize that you will
have to go into town
tomorrow to buy a new
pair – and no
doubt that will be very
expensive … and
you can’t stop
thinking that you owe
B. a lot of money as
it is … and, C.
keeps looking at you
strangely … probably
because it is his house
you are at tonight,
and this is his dinner
table at which you are
seated this moment;
and it’s obvious
to him that you are
not entertained by the
stories he tells, or
the songs he chooses
to play; and it’s
obvious to everyone
that you are upset about
the way he keeps talking
to A. … and it
is apparent that you
don’t like the
casserole that C. prepared,
- nor are you fond of
some of the other guests
he’s invited (most
of whom he has seated
beside you), - all of
them obviously thinking
that you are acting
strange because you
don’t comment
on what the others say,
and you don’t
laugh when the others
do, and you don’t
smile at anyone …
because you are lost
in your imagination,
picturing yourself riding
sheepback through a
sunny valley, alongside
a brook, with mountains
towering on either side,
- while, absentmindedly,
you make a mess of your
plate, stirring the
casserole around (which
you don’t like
very much, and which
is obvious). …And,
although it is known
to C. that you don’t
approve of his choice
of wine for the evening,
you drink your glass
quickly to ease the
tedious mood at the
dinner table.
So,
how could you be happy
and smiling and cheery
when you don’t
care for your present
company, and your imagination
is running away with
you as it is? …when
it’s obvious that
you won’t be invited
to A.’s house
on her birthday; as
it is evident that you
will never be invited
again to have dinner
here at C.’s apartment,
for how strangely he
is looking at you –
as if you are no longer
welcome here! …and
worst of all, the most
lovely and beautiful
A. (who won’t
even look you in the
eyes anymore), is now
putting on her coat
to leave with D. –
whom you can’t
stand at all.
THE
END
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