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Recently
at the Café de Flore in Saint Germain, I had
the immense honor of meeting Horn’s Club member
and author, Roman Payne to discuss his third novel,
Hope and Despair. Several coffees and hours later,
I began to unveil the mysterious inner-workings of
the Renaissance man and American expatriate.
Imprisoned
on several occasions,
Payne has lived more
lives in his thirty-one
years than most.
Journeying to the
Pacific, Mexico,
Western and Eastern
Europe, the painter
and music composer
has now settled in
Paris, France.
In
Hope and Despair,
Payne weaves a beautifully
written tale with
palpable characters
who resemble us in
our common search
to define and find
love. With readily
accessible poetic
prose, Payne delicately
intertwines modern
day situations with
symbols and myths
from Western literary
heritage.
However, what makes Hope and Despair a worthwhile read
is not only Payne's incredible story-telling gift, but
also his unflinching courage to challenge long-standing
definitions of romantic love. Payne obliges his readers
to reconsider its paradoxes and compromises on personal
liberty in contemporary relationships.
While it is not often that one has the opportunity to
meet with an artist whose work one particularly admires,
it is even more rare to have validated on such occasions
one's intuition of the artist through his work.
Many
thanks to Roman Payne for sharing his time and reflections
with fellow Horn’s Club members.
For
more information on Payne’s novel, please visit
the website, www.hope-and-despair.com.
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The
Interview: |
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| When did you know you wanted to be an author? |
| I was just a youth. It was winter, and I was awake
late at night in my room built away from the house, out
in the woods overlooking a large icy lake in the Northwestern
United States. I had a kerosene lamp lit and was finishing
a book my father had given me, A Farewell to Arms. As
soon as Lieutenant Henry left the hospital and walked
out into the rain, and there was no more to read, I was
overcome by a new sensation that was so violent and so
sublime that I began to tremble. These new emotions made
my stomach ill. I took my coat and went out for a walk.
It was very cold and dark, and the silhouettes of
the giant cedar trees waved against a shelf of clouds
as a frozen wind blew over the lake. I started down
the railroad tracks, deep in thought. It had been a
baffling book. The phrases were so simple, yet the
emotions it caused were so intense. I had never felt
such despair mingled with such intense joy. And it
was all caused by just a few hundred pages of random
words arranged in the right order. I decided on that
walk that I wanted to recreate that sensation, for
myself and for others.
I ran away soon after and started traveling - always
with a blank journal I filled with youthful attempts
at prose. As time passed, I felt myself transforming
into the writer I wanted to be, into a character of
my own invention. All the while, life began losing
its seriousness, all the while becoming more and more
romantic. I watched my life become an unfathomable
codex, beautifully bound, with no foreseeable end.
|
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| How much of your new novel, Hope and Despair, is based
upon real life? |
| The stage is fake and the actors are real, although
some wear masks and a few of the minor characters were
invented on creative whims or drawn from old allegorical
tales.
Every scene and sequence of events in Hope and Despair
was carefully calculated; a style of writing I would
call “a layering of synthesized myths.” As
with any science experiment – any creation in
a chemical laboratory – the sequences had to
follow a certain order, all events firing at the right
moment. This cannot be done by a diarist, it requires
invention. It is for the same reason that we use numbers
and formulas (imagined concepts) to execute scientific
procedures. If a chemistry experiment didn’t
need to be performed with such exactitude, we wouldn’t
need to use numbers, formulas, and carefully measured
substances – we could make chemicals using
scenes from everyday life!
My “passionate” characters, on the other
hand, all come from real life. The heroine, Nadja,
is a girl I once knew, and was involved with. She was
a sensitive and tragic soul, a sort of frail Jeanne
d’Arc; one easily be led away by visions. She
also had a real distinct pattern of speech to add
to her imagination, which not only made the dialogue
easy
to write, but which also breathed a unique humanness
into her character. The real Nadja managed to immortalize
herself in the book simply by inventing a new way
of speaking in her day to day life.
Everyone who enters my life and makes an impression
on me becomes a character in one of my books, however
minor. I’ve found that of the woman I’ve
known, of the men who’ve made my acquaintance,
those who make an impression on me are those with
the greatest imaginations - or those who host a desire
that burns with uncommon brilliance. Some, however,
simply become characters for their unique patterns
of speech, or habits of living, though these characters
tend to serve only as props.
|
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| What is your most influential sexual experience? |
| I
was six years old. There were four other boys and twenty-eight
girls in my class at catholic school - thus
each male student had a harem of five girls (I don’t
recall what we did with the three remaining girls). Anyway,
of my five girlfriends, my favorite was a soft, pale
creature with dark hair, named Katherine.
One day on the playground, I was struck by the sight
of Katherine’s dirty, scraped-up hands, as
she picked herself up off the pavement after falling.
That
was my first profound sexual experience. To this
day, many of my heroines are named Katherine.
|
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| Do
you live out your character’s fantasies? And
more importantly, do your characters live out your fantasies? |
| Fantasies
are to be played with. Real acts made fictitious, the
fictitious real. If a fantasy is worthwhile, it should
lived out, in life and in books. A worthwhile fantasy,
I would consider to be the bolder and more heroic of
any two choices. The only fantasies my characters have
enjoyed living which I consider myself a stranger to,
though I’ve lived them in dreams, are murder, suicide,
and the extreme reaches of insanity. Yet overall, I would
say I am far more experienced than any of my characters
in all things real and fictitious. |
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| Do you believe in fairy tales? If so, what are your
favorite fairy tales? |
| Insomuch
as fairy tales are myths, yes. They are our unconscious
dreams enacted out, told and told again over
the centuries because they enthrall us. Freud called
myths the ‘collective dreams of society’ … I
don’t believe it’s possible for a society
to dream collectively, however, individually. Yes. I
believe in myths as I believe in hunger or thirst, jaywalking
or adultery, or the truth of my reflection in a mirror
as a water drop runs down the glass and the shadows of
dusk creep slowly across the floor.
One of my favorite myths is a story of male initiation
called “Iron John.”
In fact, the plot of my second novel, “Cities
and Countries,” is concretely based on the sequence
of events in this tale. It mirrors “Iron John” the
way Ulysses mirrors The Odyssey.
It’s a great idea for a writer to plot a novel
to a myth that has survived in a culture for centuries.
Although the furniture of the story changes - myths
are malleable, evolving over the ages and across cultures – a
girl wears a sandal then, now she wears a slipper
- to mold to our evolving customs. Still, our hardwiring
stays the same, so do the plots of our myths.
The reader of such a novel has no idea that while
they’re enjoying the light-hearted adventures
of the book’s hero, a mythic needle, as strong
as the bond to our families, as potent as our desire
to live and understand life, is driving its insidious
tip into the veins of their psyche. A pleasurable manipulation!
|
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| How do you define sexuality in your novels? Do believe
in the war of the sexes? |
| I
don’t think I’ve ever tried to define
it.
‘War of the sexes’ is a pop-phrase I don’t
much care for … There is a war insofar as wars
focus on attaining territories - focus on possession. ‘The
sexes’ is a collective, however, too broad to
be interesting. Novelists should stay away from collectives
because they depersonalize individuals and mute the
emotions. It’s far more seductive to talk about
a war involving simply one man and one woman.
|
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| If you were a tree, what would you be? |
| The
tree which tempts Tantalus. …If so as only
to have a life engaged with others, a life of action,
over one of mere contemplation. |
| |
| Would you consider yourself a romantic? If not, what
would you consider yourself? |
| I
would consider myself a classicist. The problem with
the term ‘romanticism’ is that the characteristics
of literature that are used to define can be found in
all great literature. The romantic period has no beginning
nor any end.
Schlegel, who first applied the term ‘romantic’ to
literature, considered even Homer a romantic. So the
classics were romantic, as the great romantics were
searching for a new classicism. In my art, I strive
for the ideal classicism, for the Homeric classicism – and
that is a very romantic idea!
|
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| Do you see men and women in their traditional roles;
men as providers and women as caretakers? |
| I
didn’t know these were their traditional roles.
I always thought man’s role was to seduce woman
and woman’s role was to seduce man. Each uses their
biological tools of seduction to attempt to win for themselves
power and that illusive ‘eudaimonia.’ |
| |
| Do you aspire to get married, have children, and home
with a white picket fence? |
| Do
they allow such fences in Paris? I’ve never
seen one. I prefer large stone walls. |
| |
| If you found the woman of your dreams, would you vow
to be chaste until marriage? |
| On
the condition that I don’t have to be chaste
after marriage. |
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| What qualities do you look for in a woman or mate? |
| The face of Helen of Troy. The voice of a siren. Lips
that speak only in French. |
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| Did/do your parents encourage your writing and artistic
endeavors? |
| My
mother is an artist (a painter and interior designer).
She’s one of the most creatively gifted people
I’ve ever known or thought to imagine. When I was
very young, it was she and I who were the dreamers. She’s
always encouraged me to put art above everything else – a
great mother’s sacrifice. Although I think she
wanted me to be a painter or a musician more than a writer.
My father also taught me a lot. He gave me ambition,
teaching me to aim for the epic, to attain a life of
monumental proportions. Still, he wanted me to apply
this ambition to business and not to literature.
|
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| If you could be someone else, who would you be? |
| Achilles. Or else, Mohammed Ali. |
| |
| Is there one thing you regret doing in your life? |
| Do
you mean something I’ve already done? Or something
I’m going to do? |
| |
| Do you believe in good and evil? How do you treat these
themes in your novels? |
| I
don’t differentiate between the two. I differentiate
between the beautiful and the ugly, the heroic and the
cowardly. |
| |
| Do
you believe all couples experience what you’ve
described in your recent novel? |
| Extreme acts of passion are the bejeweled accessories
of living with which very few men and women have the
luxury of adorning themselves. |
| |
| What
other profession would you consider if you weren’t
an author? |
| Counterfeiter,
gigolo, check forger … anything
where, like writing fiction, I could work by myself,
for myself. |
| |
| Do you believe you can change the world with your novels?
Do you believe anyone can change the world? |
| Changing
the world is of no concern to me. Anyhow, the world
is fickle. Like a child, it happily adopts
an idea or the life of a man or woman, only to discard
it once that life or idea is worn out. Youthful “Alexis” (my
character in Cities and Countries) learned that better
than anybody. This realization was one of the most pleasurable
experiences I had while overcoming my own youth: that
while one is busy tramping around the world, trying to
wear it out, one is being done-in one’s self – breaking
bones and flesh and noble plans. It’s an exhilarating
realization! I recommend that all twenty-year-olds read
Cities and Countries for a glimpse into the somber joys
the future holds for them.
Anyhow, no. Changing the world doesn’t interest
me. The world is another collective. And as I’ve
said before, collectives are of no interest to me.
They are of no interest because they cannot dream.
Because they cannot emote. Because they are impersonal.
What does interest me, however, is - through literature … through
the right word writ in the right place … that
I might change the emotional train of one individual
reader at one time. That I may, for a moment, disturb
their dreams, driving him nuts, driving her to the
boundaries of animal desire, creating and destroying
illusions of loss, of hope and love and despair… and
then… leaving off. For the pages must end,
the book must be set aside. The lamp must be blown.
For
the reader is capricious, as fickle as a lover. The
lover as fickle as the world. And rightly so. §
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